I hear your dismay, Who gets excited after losing their job, right? I didn’t realize how much weight leaving this place would lift off my shoulders. Being in my late twenties, I have had my fair share of jobs hat have come and gone and I have realized that a lot of the reasons were not in my control at the time. I realize I enjoy trying for what I like, and I have never worried over being jobless.
In leaving this place, I realize that I am an eternal optimist. Most people stick to a job for the money. I never want to be that person. As I drove along the freeway back home, that day, August 8th, I realized how much the past year of my life had centered on just collecting a paycheck at this place. I sold my time for any trivial task for a few dollars at the end of the week.No wonder my soul felt thirsty. No wonder I had already reached the end of my rope.
Among other reasons. My supervisor liked to harass me.But standing up for oneself is for another post.
I want to do work that satisfies me, and that suits me and where I find myself at that particular stage of life.
Again, even when I quit the credential program, ( the first time I ever allowed myself to truly search for what I wanted, not what I thought I should want for myself) I remember feeling calm, not desperate, about the road ahead. Certainly, I knew I would find life more challenging. But I still had that post grad arrogance, that idea that I had done college, anybody would be so lucky to hire me.
I feel like I have found that hope for the future again. Ironically, after losing my first full time salary position. I thought I just had to do that life. I wanted to proe I could do it all. Grad school, work, have a life. It’s exhausting. I wanted to feel responsible.
I realize now I cannot do it all. And this is o.k. I prefer staying awake through dinner.
This kind of optimism helps me, should help all of us, really, even if it sounds crazy or unpleasant or, gasp…Selfish. Do work that fits your life, do not try to adjust your life to work. Work is not your life.Believe me. Have a life.,
That word,Selfish. To me only means that you are thinking about living your life in a way that you can wake up everyday and face yourself in the mirror.And if that means passing on a job offer, well, do that. Other job offers will follow. If I grab the first thing I find, then I will never know what ahead will suit me better. I can hold out for that, even if I sound a little selfish.
I know what I can realistically give before reaching that threshold of giving too much. I respect my need to rest, and I will respect my body when she tells me what I do not want to acknowledge.
Exhaustion is not pretty.But we all are beautiful, and should strive to make our lives represent the best of ourselves. This means our lives might not go in a conventional direction. Who wants to follow a status quo anyway?
Cracked 